Monday, 29 September 2008

School Festival

I found out last week that it was the Michaelmas festival at A's old school today, and a friend suggested we come along. A was very keen to go and watch her old classmates do their musical bit, so off we went this morning. I was a little wary - wondering what emotions this might stir up for A, bearing in mind she hadn't wanted to leave the school. She was quite nervous going in, but enjoyed watching the festival and happily caught up with some friends after the performances, with soup and cake. I overheard one friend ask her "so do you like being home educated then?" to which she answered "yeah, its really fun!" :0)

I have to be honest - I didn't enjoy the experience so much. But then I never did enjoy these social events (apart from the proud Mum bit). I came away thinking 'thank god I'm out of all this'. I know that part of this is due to my own insecurities in social situations, but it was such an unfriendly and unwelcoming place. I don't know if this is common of most schools, maybe its more intense in a small school like this where parental involvement is at a high level (so everyone seems to know everyone else's business), but as I looked around I just thought "what a bunch of bastards". Yes - that is me being bitter and cynical, I know this, but I also hear the sort of things people are saying behind each others backs, and there is so much back-stabbing going on while they all pretend to be so 'spiritual'. I do have a handful of close friends there, and others I quite like, but I find the environment itself really draining and negative. I'm torn in a way because I know A was very happy there for the most part, so there is something positive going on, but for me it was a trial.

The whole thing left me feeling quite down and crabby, but I am getting better at dealing with those sort of feelings - came home, put Orkestra del Sol on the stereo, and we had a mental dance session in the living room. Felt much better after that.

On a lighter note - found our picture in the local paper (below - it wasn't on their website so had to take a photo of the actual paper!)


Lucy said...

wow - your comments could have been me describing the people at the Steiner school we went to!! Moments like these bring it home to us - the further you get from it the more mad it all seems when you peer back in... glad you had a nice dance ;)

Red Eyes said...

This reminds me, I have been invited to a Shakespeare School Festival for 11-16 year...last week of this month and I'm looking forward to it.