Theatre

We went off to Eden Court last week to see The Rebel Cell, a brilliantly clever and satirical piece of hip hop theatre. Its set in 2015, where the bombing of the 2012 olympics has led to a total clampdown on civil liberties, and rebel dissident Dizraeli is incarcerated in Glastonbury (now the British Guantanamo). The play centres on an interview with Dizraeli by his former friend and performing partner, who is now a journalist.

It was a shame that the audience was so small, as there was a strong element of audience participation and that is so hard when there's only a few of you.

However, I found the whole experience really inspiring and exciting. In a way it made me a bit sad too, because it reminded me of how political and activistic I used to be, and how music played a big part in that. Whereas now I often just feel disillusioned and powerless. And old.

I suppose it is partly age, and partly circumstances, but I sometimes feel that all the 'important' stuff is pushed aside to make way for all the mundane stuff - watching X factor, shopping at Tesco, and all the other bollocks that I buy into, however 'reluctantly'.

I try to ease my conscience by telling myself that we have a balance - its not all Tesco and crap TV, we also have local fruit and veg, and documentaries. Well done me. But is this just a convenient compromise? What are my real, core values, and why is it so hard to live by them and teach my daughter about them?

Maybe I'm just lazy. I am still angry though, about a lot of things, I've just lost sight of what to do with that anger. So when I hear things like Dizraeli's lyrics, which strike that chord of recognition in me, it brings mixed feelings. A boost in motivation from knowing that there are people out there with a similar outlook who are enthusiastically promoting a positive message. But I also feel a sense of hanging in limbo, and that I'm a bit of a hypocrite.

A said she enjoyed it, but it was less of an intense experience for her. She just likes rap. We did talk about the political issues it brought up on the way home, so hopefully its encouraged her to think about some things a bit more deeply.

My article!

'Reading Matters' - its available here - have a look! There's even a horrible little photo/bio thing about me at the front. All very exciting (if you're me).

On a completely different subject, I was so pleased to hear that the legislation going through Parliament regarding HE in England has been ditched, for now anyway. I have avoided posting much at all on this, partly because I don't feel confident that I know what I'm on about, but mainly because there are many people out there blogging so articulately and passionately that I didn't feel I could add anything of any worth. But I have been quietly following whats been going on and contributing in ways I could - petitions and responses etc.

Politically the whole issue has thrown up such a lot for me. I used to feel very sure about where I stood on the political spectrum - very much to the left - but I am no longer clear on this. Right wing views are still abhorrent to me, particularly when it comes to economics and trade, but in a lot of other areas too. However, the left (not that we really have a left left, if that makes sense) no longer seems the obvious answer. The older I get the more confused I feel about it all.

Today we took advantage of the sunshine and went out on our bikes. All the way there (along the river, past the caravan park by the beach, into the large woods at Culbin) the sun was shining beautifully, when we turned to come back we got wind, rain and hail. Lovely. We arrived home filthy and soaked, but I still felt better for it.

Here's a little pic of our 'bike cave', much cheaper and more convenient than putting up a shed, although it needs the bench in front of it to stop it blowing over in high winds!

I have noticed A talking to herself a lot just lately, when I eavesdropped I realised she was practicing her lines for the play she's going to be in with her drama group - based on A Midsummer Night's Dream. She has the part of Bottom, which means she will get a chance to reveal her comedic talents! I cant wait :o)

Right, I'm off to email the link to my article to everyone I know, whether they're interested or not.

Politics

Feeling a little bewildered/confused by some of the political stuff going on within the world of HE, both at national and local level. It seems obvious that as a minority group we would want to band together and work as a group, but of course its never that simple. And although we could be seen as a 'group', HE contains such diverse ideas, outlooks and approaches, so its never going to be a totally cohesive body. I don't think this is a bad thing in itself, but it becomes very messy and complicated when representation of this 'group' is needed.
To be honest, what is bothering me the most is the fact that I don't feel like I know what's going on, or where I stand. I suppose I am still fairly new to it all, and don't have a strong background rooting me in my own view on HE - I'm still taking it all in and discovering how we are going to do it, it changes frequently. But I do feel kind of out of the loop, or maybe a bit thick, for not being more tuned-in to what is happening. I read a lot, so on one level I see the discussions going on, but there seems to be so many different agendas.
I used to be very politically aware, and have definite views and strong opinions, but I'm finding that the older I get the more cynical and pessimistic I'm getting about politics. I don't see this as a particularly good thing, as it leads to a sort of lethargic 'whats the point?' attitude, which the younger me would have despised.
There is a part of of me that thinks all the conflict and debate over HE is too much/too big for me to deal with, I struggle enough trying to do the right thing in my own little world of HE. But I also see how the bigger picture is so vitally linked to my smaller one, and to some degree I'm dependent on the support there. Then I feel I should be more actively involved, its my duty to contribute in some way (not sure how).
I'm not going to reach any conclusions here, and I don't know if this will make any sense or be of any interest to anyone else, it just where my head is this groggy Sunday. I just wanted to try to get it down in words as sometimes that helps me work through things.
I'll go back to the nice, light postings of my wonderful world with A soon, as that world is still very much in existence.