Still here...

Felt it was time for a blog post.
A has gone off to an all day party today, so I've got a whole day to myself. I've kind of missed blogging, so thought I'd take this opportunity to write a few words.

I dropped A off at the swimming pool at 11 this morning, and am picking her up from her friend's at 8pm. She was really nervous about it, the friend is someone she used to go to ballet with ages ago, and they've kind of kept up with each other through email. She did come over here last week, but before that they hadn't actually seen each other for a couple of years, and A wont really know any of the other girls at the party (she knows a couple of them from her old school, but they weren't in her class and she hasn't seen them for ages either). Anyway, understandably she was quite apprehensive, but also really wanted to go. I felt sick when I left her at the swimming pool - I don't think it matters how old they get, you always feel for them so intensely. And I know she'll be fine - I'm 99.9% sure they'll all get on well and she'll have a great time, but there's still that 0.1% fear that it will all go wrong. Well its 12.40 now and I haven't heard from her, so maybe I should just relax :0)

Things seem to be coming together a bit more with (the dreaded) maths. We have been using this Australian site, I even paid for the year as A seemed to like it so much, and its been a really good way for her to chart her progress. She just does about 20 - 30 minutes most days, and it seems to suit her way of learning. There are lots of games, some very short 'tutorials', and worksheets to print out - enough of a variety of things not to get boring. She struggled a bit with the timed assessments, just the idea of being timed stresses her out, but it doesn't matter how many times you attempt them. And it really proves to her when she completes them that she is not as crap at maths as she thinks. There are also lots of other activities - things you can 'buy' with your points, and each student has their own character they can design.
To be honest its not the sort of site I had imagined using, but it really does seem to work for A, and when it comes to maths I'll use whatever works!

A had a bit of a mini crisis this week, which was very interesting for both of us.
I had dropped her off for choir at her old school, but it turned out choir was cancelled, so she called me to go back for her. On the way home she ended up in tears, saying she wanted to go back to school and that she really missed it. I had to take a deep breath and try not to react too much, as this immediately sent me into a head space I really didn't want to be in - ie I made the wrong decision about HE. So I stayed calm, and fairly quiet, and we considered the options together. As it happens, things are better for us financially now (lack of money was the main reason for taking her out of school), but not enough for me to afford fees for the next five years. We talked about what a shame it is the school isn't open to flexi-schooling, as I could possibly manage to fund that. We talked about the local schools, which neither of us are keen on.
When she was a bit calmer she told me what had prompted the upset - one of her 'friends' up at the school while waiting for me to go back for her had been winding her up and generally playing manipulative mind games along the lines of: why did you leave the school?/don't you want to be here with us?/you will lose all your friends here/people wont like you any more because you left.
This is not unusual or surprising from this particular girl. However, I happen to know that this girl is having an extremely hard time at home just now, and while that doesn't excuse what she did, it did help to discuss that with A, and give her another perspective - ie that sadly the girl's way of dealing with difficulties seems to be to hurt other people.
About an hour after we got home I had to take A off to drama, and as she got out of the car she said 'don't worry about earlier - I was just having a 'moment', I don't really want to go back to school at all, I love home ed'. It was such a relief to hear that! Apart from anything else I don't think I could face going back and dealing with all those people - I would do it for A's sake, but I would hate it.

The whole episode brought up a couple of things. Firstly, there is still the issue of 'friends' and the fact that A doesn't feel she sees enough of them. Her going to a few group activities now has definitely helped, and with drama in particular she really enjoys being part of a team, but she still seems to need more. She's really keen on joining guides now, but we're still waiting for a place to come up :0( I'm also looking into sending her to art lessons at another local independent school, who are open to that kind of flexi-schooling, as I think she needs more guidance than I can give in this subject, so thats a possible opportunity for more socialising. Its a real shame there's not a more cohesive, close-knit HE group in our area, but thats mainly down to the fact that we are in the Highlands and eveyone is so spread out. I don't know of any other HEors in our town.
A more positive upshot of the whole incident was the way we both handled it, and what that says about our relationship. I can imagine, if I was feeling hassled or rushed, reacting very differently. I hate to admit it, but I think I could have quite easily gone on the defensive, thinking 'oh god, don't tell me that!' and come out with all the reasons she couldn't go back to school. Instead I listened, and seriously considered what she was saying, and she felt heard. This is one time where I actually feel I can say I got it right :0)

A has requested a project about pregnancy and childbirth, as she feels she doesn't know enough about them, so after a trip to the library and finding very little appropriate material, I bought this and this for us to use. So will be starting that very soon.

We had a lovely little exercise this week, suggested by A - we visited a new vegan deli/coffee shop in our town (so excited about that!!!) and both wrote reviews about the place. They were glowing :0))

The girl's social whirl

A was singing at her old school's Christmas Market with the choir yesterday, very enjoyable to watch and listen to. She then disappeared with a gang of mates while I caught up with a couple of people and did some shopping. After a couple of hours I was ready to go, but A wasn't! Luckily another parent offered to bring her home later on, so I left her there.

She had a great time, as far as I can tell the group (about six or seven of them - girls and boys - all 11/12ish) did their own thing, including going off to the local shops, while the parents were involved in running stalls etc. This kind of thing is happening more and more often, and to me it feels positive, if a bit weird. She really is growing up.

Today she has gone off to the cinema with a couple of the friends she was with yesterday (with their parent - apart from anything else the nearest cinema is 15 miles away).

I have to say I am really enjoying seeing her burgeoning independence, and the self confidence that clearly follows. We seem to have entered into a new phase of this, which I think is partly a result of all the new group activities she is involved in. The latest of these - the creative writing group - is fantastic, and I'm sure will do wonders for her confidence.

Crafty TV day

This is what we're having today - in front of the box, working on this years Christmas project (see below). We have about 22 of these to make and send off with cards (we've made the cards already - we usually do that in January!). So far we've made 8, but not all of those have the sequins sewn on yet, so today we really need to crack on.


A's concert went very well last week, and she really enjoyed performing. There are another couple of carol singing gigs coming up with the choir, so she's all excited about that. One of them is at her old school's Christmas Market, and the other is at the big shopping centre in Inverness.
We have also discovered that there is a local children's creative writing group, so A is going to go along on Monday and see how she gets on. She knows a couple of the girls who go, so that makes it easier I think.

I have been getting a lot of headaches over the last year or two, and just recently had a couple of attacks of a weird visual disturbance - a kind of curved, shimmery blind-spot. This lasts for about 20 minutes and leaves me with a headache and feeling sick and woozy. After a trip to the doctor I have discovered that I suffer from migraines, or 'ocular migraines' to be more precise. In a way it is a relief, as I had myself all worked up about brain tumours etc, but I just hope they don't get worse.
At the moment I take ibuprofen when it gets really bad, and the doctor said there were lots of different stronger painkillers I could try if things got worse, but I hate taking pills, and would like to find a more natural remedy. Am thinking of trying acupuncture. Any other suggestions?