Car boot finds, Spooky Men, interviews....

Hey, look what I found at a car boot sale last Sunday:

yes - this is the type of find that excites me :D

And I know they are only piddly little ones, but they are enough for me, for now. A much better way to incorporate weights into my circuits than tins of beans/bottles of water. Although it has to be said this week has been a bit lax in terms of exercise, for various reasons. Such is life - I will be back on it next week!

Monday night was a very good night - we went to see The Spooky Men's Chorale, haven't laughed so much in ages. Lots of big men, some with big beards, singing Georgian choral inspired songs with titles such as "Don't stand between a man and his tool". Fantastic voices, and so, so funny. If you ever get the chance - GO AND SEE THEM!!!

Laughter was just what I needed as I had the interview looming on Tuesday morning. I get very nervous about interviews, and had been carrying around this feeling of dread all week before it. It actually went very well, as far as I could tell. I'm hopeful, but trying not to bank on getting it - there were 3 other candidates. I've learnt from my experience with the supermarket, where they were taking on loads of staff and I was sure I would get something...nope.

It would suit me quite well though, its afternoons so I would be at home in the mornings for A (although not when she gets home from school), and it would mostly be driving around in a little red van delivering parcels. Its just a matter of waiting to hear now, the interviewer did say it can take a while for the decision to be made.

After the interview I had some news about our holiday - unfortunately we will have to cut it short :-( Due to circumstances beyond my control we cant have our second week over near Venice. I'm gutted, and considerably out of pocket with having to change flights etc, but its not something any of us could have foreseen, so I'm just trying to focus on us having a brilliant time with A's Nonno and Nonna in La Spezia and Pisa for the first week.

As for school, all is well :-) A is managing the early mornings remarkably well, and seems to be enjoying all aspects of school life. She did have to have a maths test, which she was quite worried about. Maths is the only subject that is streamed straight away, and A had been put into the bottom group to start with as they had no primary school record to judge her on - hence the test. She came home after the test saying that she didn't think she had answered anything right, and was resigned (and actually fairly content) to staying in the bottom group. I wasn't sure what to think, I know she has far more ability than she realises, but I also know how panicky she gets about tests, and thought she might have done really badly through sheer terror! The following day she announced she'd been moved up to the middle group. I hope this gives her a bit of a boost and makes her realise that she's not "rubbish" (her words, not mine!) at maths.

Best pizzas ever

We had a Saturday night pizza-making session - very tasty indeed :-)

Pre oven

Post oven

And we scoffed the lot while watching Dr Who. Happiness.

I forgot to mention last time - our Ben Nevis climb had to be rescheduled (due to a forecast of gales and blizzards!!!!) so we now plan to do it next Saturday (11th June). Will let you know how we get on.

The insomnia continued into the earlier part of last week, so its all a bit of a blur. A got on with bits and pieces, and all the usual clubs/classes, I was in the background trying not to fall asleep! I'm feeling a bit better about things now, but job hunting has to become a priority I think.

With the prospect of employment, and less time around for A, I'm trying to prepare her and encourage her to do more self-directed work. I've just signed her up for a K3 science course, I'm thinking it will give her a taste of science as an academic discipline (we've done quite a lot of 'sciencey' stuff, but nothing structured) so she can see how she gets on and decide whether she wants to take it further. So with that, and her essay-writing course, and the new maths website we're signing up to, as well as all the unstructured stuff she's doing, I feel we have quite a lot covered! And - most importantly - she seems to be quite up for it all.

I got out running a couple of times this week. A bit disappointing this morning - I thought I could increase my running time a bit, but soon discovered this was not going to happen (really thought I was going to collapse in a sweaty heap). After a few minutes walking I went back to 1min run/1min walk, which was fine, seems to be my level at the moment. Really hate this newbie stage, although of course its necessary to achieve anything. I feel the same in the body pump class, because as much as I love it, I have the tiniest weights while everyone else has got big heavy weights. And I still struggle with some of the exercises. The instructor keeps saying to us "if its getting too much just take some of your weights off", but if I did that I'd just be lifting the pole! I suppose I have to swallow my pride and focus on a future where I am running marathons (or my more realistic short term goal of getting round my 2 mile loop without stopping).

We're off for a hike tomorrow, along the beach, not sure if A's legs know what they're in for next Saturday ;-)

Friday

Merry over at Patch of Puddles is looking for HE people to photo-blog 'a day in the life' for her blog carnival, so I thought I would join in.

This was the beautiful clear sky at 7am when I got up for my early morning jog (A was still fast asleep at this point!)


A couple of hours later and A emerges. First things first - facebook check.

Another crucial task - apply make-up.

After breakfast A does some work on her essay-writing course, she's just started it so is looking at paragraphs and how to make them 'flow'.

Meanwhile, I'm preparing a poster we're making of the periodic table. I've measured and drawn out the structure of the table, A is going to do the arty/pretty stuff - colours and script.

A bit later and she's moved on to maths. A is finishing the 'exams' which conclude the online curriculum she's been following. After struggling with some long multiplication, she manages to get 12 out of 13 correct -yay!

Falafels for lunch!

A pause for some prettiness at the top of the stairs - reflections from the sunshine

Next its off to collect the car (we have a car-share arrangement with Granny)

A has control of the camera while I'm driving:

Music (and singing along) is a definite requirement in the car!

20 miles later we arrive in Elgin, have an hour in the gym, then its skating club for A

After skating one of A's mates comes back with us for a sleepover

Crazy makeover fun!

The day concluded with some late night film-watching in bed for the girls, and a vodka & tonic, and vegging in front of the TV downstairs for me.

Not sure if thats a 'typical' HE day, but that was our Friday :D

Maths exams, and the second law of thermodynamics

A seemed to have a good time at the sleepover party. She arrived home on Sunday at about 1pm, shuffled upstairs, collapsed on her bed and fell asleep for a couple of hours. Indication of a good party in anyone's terms.

We had a bit of a lazy start to the week, with both of us struggling to feel motivated about anything. But things improved as the week went on.

With maths, A has now reached the end of her online course, and has 10 exams to do (these are each one page of varied questions covering what she's learnt throughout the course). She was less than enthusiastic about sitting 'exams'(!) but I'm hoping they will show her how well she's actually doing with maths. Usually I sit with her so that we can discuss any problems as they come up and look at different ways of working things out. She seems to need this - her confidence in her own ability in maths is so low, I think it reassures her to know she can check things with me. I suggested with these exams that I leave her to it, and she does as much as she can on her own, then I'll come through and we can talk about any she's had difficulty with. She completed the first one on Friday, getting 29 out of 30, and needing no help whatsoever.
I don't think its registered with her how good this is - she focused in on the one error (which was just a careless extra nought, rather than a mistake in calculation), and then started wondering "do they make the first exam really easy, then gradually make them harder?" (which they don't). So, basically not acknowledging that "I did really well"!!!
Its like banging my head against a brick wall sometimes - she seems to be clinging on to this notion that she's really crap at maths (which she clearly isn't!) I guess all I can do is keep finding ways to show her that she isn't.

On Friday we watched the first programme in the Wonders of the Universe series that I've been recording. We both learnt lots, mainly about entropy. I did physics GCSE at school, and it was never as cool and interesting as Prof Brian Cox makes it - maybe if he'd been my teacher I would have actually passed!

This afternoon A is off to a Guide patrol get-together, where they will be cooking pasta together. Apparently they get a badge for boiling pasta - A was as bemused as me at this. Still, I'm sure they'll have a laugh, which is what its all about really :-)

Garbage in the car

That's what we were listening to the other day - Garbage and Version 2.0 - hadn't listened to these for ages, years probably, but thought A might like them. She gave them an 8 out of 10. She seems to be enjoying more guitar based music now she's learning to play.

Skating is going really well, she's enjoying the social side as well as learning new skills. A bought her own skates on Friday:


Life is busy as ever, hence the two week gap in blog posts!! We are both enjoying the pace though, I certainly feel like I'm benefitting from the increase in physical activity.
We've also found time to get out for walks on our beach in the sunshine :-)

I've found another online maths curriculum that looks promising, A has nearly finished the one she's been using for the past year, and the new one looks more in line with the level she's at now, so we'll probably give it a go soon.

This coming week we'll have a bit of breathing space as most of the clubs are not on due to school holidays. But A does have one exciting activity on Tuesday - an audition with Youth Music Theatre. We heard about it through our HE group email list, and A was dead keen for me to book her a place. I think it will be a great experience for her.

And here is a photo of the fabulous pink hair!!!!

Making 3D objects from nets

3D space is what we've been looking at in maths for the last couple of weeks, relatively painless!
Got the nets here.

Guitars and monsters

Yesterday A had her first guitar lesson. We were chatting away to the tutor when we first went in, and he asked A "what year are you in at school?" So A did her usual "erm.." and sideways glance to pass the question over to me (she hates having to explain home education to people), so I said "well actually she doesn't go to school, we home educate" to which he replied "oh, so do we" !!!!! How amazing is that!?! They only live a few miles down the road and we've never come across each other. They belong to the same HE online network for the north of Scotland as us, but we've obviously never been to the same events.
Anyway, that got things off to a great start, I went off and had a chat with his wife while A got started on learning the chords for a Katy Perry song. I have a feeling this is going to work out well :o)
We may be needing a new, full size guitar quite soon though, as this one:

is a bit too dinky

We've also been doing a bit of sewing:

Manny & Bob

These little monsters (along with some brothers and sisters when we get time to make them) will hopefully be appearing in our Folksy shop once we get it up and running. There will be other bits and pieces too, some cards, and some of my knitting. I'll link to it once its sorted.

Spellzone seems to be working out well for A, she's able to sit and work through the units herself, without me looking over her shoulder, which I think is good for her confidence. When it comes to the maths programme she's doing she likes me there by her side most of the time. She still really lacks confidence in maths, even though she can do the work ok.

Granny is off on a cruise just now (get her!) so we have the car (yipee!) but I have no childcare, which is not ideal when I have to work. Even as I'm typing this I'm questioning whether it is so much of a bad thing - I always feel guilty about working because I think I should be entirely focused on A, even if we're not actively working on something together I feel I should be available in the background somewhere. But me working gives A time completely to herself to focus on whatever she wants to (today it was creating fictional characters - written details and drawings, painting, and guitar playing, also a bit of 'putting on make-up' too I suspect) which is probably a good thing.

A is a Planet Defender!!!

She is! In the September issue of National_Geographic_Kids magazine. They have published a letter she wrote about her fund raising efforts for tigers, and a picture of her too - she's very excited about it all :o)

She's putting a lot of effort into fundraising at the moment, but for less altruistic reasons - she's after this game for her DS! So I'm getting lots of help with the housework just now. The house has never been so clean.

So, Monday felt like a fresh start after our longish trip away. First thing - maths! We're on decimals and fractions at the moment, still plodding along with smartkiddies, supplemented with related stuff from the multitude of maths resources I have (I'm obsessed). Then:

some story-writing...

and reading out to me.

A likes me to give her a list of titles to choose from, she writes some great stories, often very humorous. Spelling is still a bit of an issue, weekly spelling lists and tests didn't really work for us (of course they didn't, what were we thinking!?) so we are looking for another method to help A improve her spelling skills. I'm liking the look of spellzone, and would be interested in hearing from anyone who's used it??? A few people have recommended spellodrome, but it looks like a very competitive approach to me, something A would run a mile from.

We've also started reading To_Kill_A_Mockingbird together.

Next up was science, and an experiment out of this fab little book we got out of the library. Ours involved a toaster, some cardboard, and a pedal-bin liner:

switch the toaster on...

watch the bag puff up...

and its away!

So we learnt about air density, and that cold air is more dense than hot air. I love this book - after it describes the experiment step by step, there are two sections: 'why does it work?' and 'how does this apply to the real world?' - giving really clear, concise explanations.

A is back to all her groups/classes this week: drama, guides, piano. Piano is a bit of a bone of contention at the moment. She's not really enjoying learning, and sees it as Mum 'making her' do something. Its a difficult one - on one hand I can see her point of view, why should she be made to do classes she's not interested in? But on the other - she does enjoy music very much and has a real ear for it, it would be a real shame to waste that talent. I would never push her to do exams or anything like that, but reading and playing music to a competent level would be a great skill for her to have, useful in so many ways and situations. I think I may have to agree to stop the lessons, for now anyway, I'm hoping that at some point she will realise how learning music could benefit her.

I've been looking at college courses, ostensibly for A (yeah I know, getting a bit ahead of myself! But was interested in seeing the local intitutions entry requirements, and whether they are likely to be flexible for HE kids, and as A seems dead-set on drama courses I thought I'd do some early research. Looks pretty positive) but I ended up coming across an MA that I really want to do at some point. I remember looking at it when I finished my degree a couple of years ago and thinking 'this is the next step'. I felt really tempted looking at the syllabus this morning, but it would be crazy - I can barely manage my time with HE and working from home, taking on an MA course would be insane! But still, the longing is there... my time will come :o)

Positivity

Anyone who follows this blog will know that I have regular maths-related anxiety attacks. Don't know why its maths in particular that gets me this way, might be partly to do with A's own feelings about the subject, but anyway, I have been known to lie awake at night worrying myself half to death about whether I am failing my daughter, and will she turn around in ten years time and say "I never learnt my times tables properly because you didn't make me, and because of that my life is now ruined". Not sure why her life would be ruined by this, but my catastrophising generally doesn't need reason.

I decided to do a general review last week, just for myself really, and go through all the 'work' A has been doing this year (by work I mean any interests/activities, not just written stuff). Looking at it as objectively as possible I don't have any concerns - I think she's got a great, and full 'curriculum', which covers a broad range of 'subjects' (I know I'm putting all this in schoolish terminology, which doesn't really apply to the way we do things, but I suppose I do use what she would be doing at school as some kind of comparison when I'm assessing things). She's a bright girl, with clear strengths and weaknesses, but no particular problems with what she's learning (Oh God, this is starting to sound like a school report!)

But I knew all that anyway. What I was really pleased about - from an assessing point of view rather than being involved in the learning process - was how she's progressing with maths. Looking at what she's covered, through the online site we're using and the other material relevant to each theme that I've brought in, made me feel really positive about it all. Sometimes I just need to step back a bit and be a bit more objective, instead of getting all caught up in the parental fear/anxiety/guilt about what she should be doing, because actually she's doing fine. In fact, she's doing brilliantly, and she's happy.

Took a visiting friend to Cawdor yesterday, just for a walk around the gardens and the woods, here are some pictures:

In character

The walled garden

Sculpture made from flint

Bee on a thistle

View from a bridge

Had a lovely girly night last night - make-overs and chocolate facepacks; home made pizza; DVDs; painted toenails - a very late night and a lie-in this morning. Perfect.

Back to work

Really feels like a 'back to work' day with HE today, after our holiday break. We did some revision on the division A had been trying to get her head around before we went away, and she seemed to remember it all very well. We had a look at some of the other topics in the online course she is following (in a very flexible way, ie avoiding all the timed assessments that send her into a brain-freezing panic) and A asked me what there is to like about algebra. As I launched into an enthusiastic defence I could see her eyes glaze over, and almost heard the word "nutter" escape from the corner of her mouth. So I have been on Amazon and ordered a load of murderous_maths books, in a (probably futile) attempt to prove that 'hey - maths is fun!!!'

We also had a look at 'spelling'. We have a new approach to spelling, using this book. On Monday A is given 16 words to learn and on Friday we have a test. Very simple, very schooly, but she seems OK with it. Spelling is the one area where A really falls down. She has a great vocabulary, writes wonderfully, has a fairly good understanding of punctuation and grammar, and has no problems reading, but her spelling is pretty bad. I used to say to myself that as long as she is reading and writing lots the spelling would come eventually, and maybe that's true, but we've both become aware that she seems to be lagging behind her peers in this area. Embarrassment - as wrong and unfair as it is to be judged on your spelling skills - can be a strong motivator, and A wants to improve. We've used the 'fun' spelling workbooks and games in the past, but feel the time has come for something a bit more intense. We'll see how it goes...

After maths and spelling A decided it was vitally important to tidy her room. She's been up there for a couple of hours now and there has been a lot of guitar playing going on, and apparently she's just "nearly done the splits!!".

Some more ideas have come up for themes to work on:

• research into Anarchism (A started using the Anarchy symbol as her initial, but only had a vague idea of what it stands for)
• a creative/arty look at the periodic table, as A seemed so interested in it when looking at this book
• artists profiles - I have recorded several programmes on different artists recently, and we'll link this into doing some studies of favourite artists work

Had another 'nutter' moment this morning. Popped out to pick up a few things in town and bumped into an old acquaintance - very nice lady - who asked me if I was still 'home tutoring'. I smiled and replied 'yes', and she raised her eyebrows, gave a wry smile and a little sigh, nodded goodbye and walked off. Now I have no idea what was really going through her mind, but there was a definite vibe of 'nutter' I feel. At least I'm a happy nutter though.

Edinburgh

Just had a wonderful couple of days down in Edinburgh :o)
Had a FAB conference to go to on Wednesday, so I went down on Tuesday and stayed overnight at a hotel (A stayed up here with Granny).
Spent a couple of hours enjoying the art_gallery on Tuesday afternoon, then had a delicious meal in this restaurant.
The conference itself was really interesting, entitled: Nutrition for Learning, Behaviour and Mood. Some fantastic speakers, lots of evidence and information I can use in my writing, in fact its really inspired me to write more on nutrition. It has also challenged some of my fundemental beliefs about my own diet, and left me in a bit of a quandry about that, but thats for me to try and get my head around :o/

Some pics from my hotel room window:

I'm refusing to blog anything about the election - I cast my vote, we've discussed various issues and followed whats going on, but I find the whole thing too depressing for words.

Thanks to lovely Hannah we made this today:

It caught our eye when we were looking at her blog, and A was very keen to make one ('keen' about maths - whats going on?!?) I think it appeals because of the colours and shape - the 'artyness' of it. It can be used the same way as the multiplication square, but I'm thinking (hoping) that because it appeals in a visual way it might have more impact on taking in the info. Whatever works!

We also rediscovered a story we started writing together well over a year ago (in fact it might be more like two years!). We had done character descriptions, including drawings, as well as planning the skeleton of the story, then put it all in a folder and put it away in a drawer. Once we reminded ourselves of what we'd done previously the story started flowing, and we got a few pages down. Hopefully it wont be another two years before we get it out again!

Red Cabbage Experiment

A drew up a schedule for Friday. I was a little apprehensive as it was a very long list, but it worked brilliantly. She did have to cut things out as the day went on, but that was ok. Our main activity for the day was pH indicator-making with a red cabbage:

The cabbage was first chopped...

then boiled for ten minutes

Meanwhile, several household substances were gathered

Once the cabbage water had been drained and cooled, it was distributed between 10 glass containers (I knew all those jars I was hoarding would come in handy one day!)

Then A added a different substance to each jar - recording how much was added and any differences occuring to the cabbage water.

And here are the results - A has estimated the pH of each substance based on how blue or red the cabbage water turned.

Next came the 'experimental healthy biscuits', this involved chucking a load of vaguely healthy ingredients together, shaping into biscuit shapes and baking.

They weren't at all bad actually.

Other activities included:

• another crime scene investigation project, this time looking at DNA evidence
• writing a short story in 20 minutes
• online maths assessment on multiplication (she got 10 out of 10 - yay!!)
• 'geograball' - a game A made up with her Granny which involves throwing a ball at each other and naming countries/cities beginning with A/B/C etc
• piano practice
• smoothie making session

We ended the day with pizza-making, and both felt very satisfied with our day. Its great to see A so motivated, she seems to be entering a new phase (or something) where she's taking much more responsibility for her own learning.

The art session with the HE group went really well, I think A was quite inspired by the artist taking the session, and had a good look at her website when we got home.

A had her first night at Guides on Thursday. She was extremely nervous about it, worrying that she wouldn't know anyone, but as it turned out she already knew a couple of the girls, and was put into their patrol, so she came home with a big smile, keen to go back next week.

So all good then. I'm off to the pub tonight - haven't done that for ages. I think I'm in a lager mood tonight...

Times Tables, anyone?

I'm back to worrying about maths.

For the past few months we've been using smartkiddies - an Australian online programme (with a crap name). It has worked really well for A, and I've supplemented it with other materials I've picked up along the way from various sources, linking in to the area she's working on.



The only part she hasn't got on very with with are the timed challenges, put her under any time pressure with maths and she panics and cant think straight. She has completed some of these, but I haven't pushed her because I'd much rather she understood the processes and how to work things out than give her the message that you have to be quick to be good at maths.



We have now reached the multiplication section, and it seems to be expected that all children must learn their times tables off by heart. I know this is what she would have to do in school, and she did when she was at school, but I have big reservations about this approach. We have gone through all the tables and looked at the patterns within them and ways of working out the answers, and she can do that, but I have not made her learn them by heart.



Most people I speak to about this seem to see times tables as a necessary evil, and the only way of teaching kids the basics of multiplication. I don't really agree with this, but am starting to doubt myself. I've been having a few of those 'am I doing this all wrong?' moments, which are fairly familiar as a home edder.



My problem with times tables is - it is learning by rote, which goes against my general approach anyway, and means there isn't necessarily any understanding behind it. A child could repeat all their times tables perfectly but not be able to work out the answer. I know this is not very likely as kids get taught the processes alongside learning them off by heart, but it seems that learning them by rote is just a way of getting to the answer quicker. Which brings us back to this idea that you have to be quick to be good at maths (am I going round in circles here?).



I suppose I could drill A everyday in her tables, and she would learn them eventually, but I worry that it would take her back to that deep, deep hatred of maths (rather than the dislike we have progressed to) and feelings of inadequacy because she's no 'good' (ie quick) at maths. My gut feeling is that it just wouldn't suit her way of learning, she finds rote learning very boring (unless its learning lines for a play, because she's connecting into the performance for that) and will just switch off. She needs that connection of understanding and application to 'real life'.

However, we are trying a little experiment. A has realised herself that she has particular problems with the 7 times table, so we have written it out on a big piece of paper and put it on her bedroom wall. She is going to approach it like learning lines, and keep going over them. It will be interesting to see how she gets on with this, it may work because the idea (although suggested by me) has come from her own realisations about her strengths and weaknesses, and a desire on her part to improve. We shall see...

I'd be really interested to hear anyone else's experiences in this area - please feel free to give me your opinions and examples of what has/hasn't worked for you and your child/ren :o)

I am - most definitely - back

OK, enough with the blog break. It didn't work. Even if no one reads it or wants to know what I think or what we're doing, I have to blog.

I have been motivated today, by some positive news on the work front, to give myself a good kick up the arse and stop being so lazy. I cant use the 'not enough time' line as an excuse - there is NEVER enough time to do everything I want to, thats how my life is. Truth is, I like blogging, I enjoy it, and I've missed it.

I think there may be changes in the way I blog, it has evolved along the way in any case, its bound to. I'm toying with ideas about changing the name and how it looks, but am not sure yet. I think a slight change in perspective may occur, posting more about me and work, but then my life is still predominantly about parent/home ed stuff, so not that much of a change perhaps.

I am going to try to be more honest here. I think I've held back on a lot of issues because I'm not sure who's reading and don't want to upset anyone. A bit ridiculous really, why should I care? Its my blog.

Anyway, here is a little update on some of the things we've been up to:

• went to the science festival at a local college with our HE group. A bit stressful for me as I had been the contact for the group, so lots of emailing to and fro, but all went well on the day and we learnt about volcanoes, made solar power models with K'nex, and met lots of creepy crawlies.

• went for a loooong bike ride in the sunshine.

• watched and discussed a programme called 'American Hate' about the Black Panthers - their history, and the current 'new' Black Panthers. We're going to watch the second part, about the Ku Klux Klan, sometime soon.

• A wrote a letter and drew a picture to send to the African child her Granny is sponsoring

• A created some more fashion designs for her label

• We discussed and researched setting up our own shop on Folksy - watch this space!!

• Talked to Nonno and Nonna about our plans for Italy next year - they are taking us to meet some of A's family out there.

• Lots of maths, English, piano, drama, art, singing, laughing, eating of cake....I could go on...

Still here...

Felt it was time for a blog post.
A has gone off to an all day party today, so I've got a whole day to myself. I've kind of missed blogging, so thought I'd take this opportunity to write a few words.

I dropped A off at the swimming pool at 11 this morning, and am picking her up from her friend's at 8pm. She was really nervous about it, the friend is someone she used to go to ballet with ages ago, and they've kind of kept up with each other through email. She did come over here last week, but before that they hadn't actually seen each other for a couple of years, and A wont really know any of the other girls at the party (she knows a couple of them from her old school, but they weren't in her class and she hasn't seen them for ages either). Anyway, understandably she was quite apprehensive, but also really wanted to go. I felt sick when I left her at the swimming pool - I don't think it matters how old they get, you always feel for them so intensely. And I know she'll be fine - I'm 99.9% sure they'll all get on well and she'll have a great time, but there's still that 0.1% fear that it will all go wrong. Well its 12.40 now and I haven't heard from her, so maybe I should just relax :0)

Things seem to be coming together a bit more with (the dreaded) maths. We have been using this Australian site, I even paid for the year as A seemed to like it so much, and its been a really good way for her to chart her progress. She just does about 20 - 30 minutes most days, and it seems to suit her way of learning. There are lots of games, some very short 'tutorials', and worksheets to print out - enough of a variety of things not to get boring. She struggled a bit with the timed assessments, just the idea of being timed stresses her out, but it doesn't matter how many times you attempt them. And it really proves to her when she completes them that she is not as crap at maths as she thinks. There are also lots of other activities - things you can 'buy' with your points, and each student has their own character they can design.
To be honest its not the sort of site I had imagined using, but it really does seem to work for A, and when it comes to maths I'll use whatever works!

A had a bit of a mini crisis this week, which was very interesting for both of us.
I had dropped her off for choir at her old school, but it turned out choir was cancelled, so she called me to go back for her. On the way home she ended up in tears, saying she wanted to go back to school and that she really missed it. I had to take a deep breath and try not to react too much, as this immediately sent me into a head space I really didn't want to be in - ie I made the wrong decision about HE. So I stayed calm, and fairly quiet, and we considered the options together. As it happens, things are better for us financially now (lack of money was the main reason for taking her out of school), but not enough for me to afford fees for the next five years. We talked about what a shame it is the school isn't open to flexi-schooling, as I could possibly manage to fund that. We talked about the local schools, which neither of us are keen on.
When she was a bit calmer she told me what had prompted the upset - one of her 'friends' up at the school while waiting for me to go back for her had been winding her up and generally playing manipulative mind games along the lines of: why did you leave the school?/don't you want to be here with us?/you will lose all your friends here/people wont like you any more because you left.
This is not unusual or surprising from this particular girl. However, I happen to know that this girl is having an extremely hard time at home just now, and while that doesn't excuse what she did, it did help to discuss that with A, and give her another perspective - ie that sadly the girl's way of dealing with difficulties seems to be to hurt other people.
About an hour after we got home I had to take A off to drama, and as she got out of the car she said 'don't worry about earlier - I was just having a 'moment', I don't really want to go back to school at all, I love home ed'. It was such a relief to hear that! Apart from anything else I don't think I could face going back and dealing with all those people - I would do it for A's sake, but I would hate it.

The whole episode brought up a couple of things. Firstly, there is still the issue of 'friends' and the fact that A doesn't feel she sees enough of them. Her going to a few group activities now has definitely helped, and with drama in particular she really enjoys being part of a team, but she still seems to need more. She's really keen on joining guides now, but we're still waiting for a place to come up :0( I'm also looking into sending her to art lessons at another local independent school, who are open to that kind of flexi-schooling, as I think she needs more guidance than I can give in this subject, so thats a possible opportunity for more socialising. Its a real shame there's not a more cohesive, close-knit HE group in our area, but thats mainly down to the fact that we are in the Highlands and eveyone is so spread out. I don't know of any other HEors in our town.
A more positive upshot of the whole incident was the way we both handled it, and what that says about our relationship. I can imagine, if I was feeling hassled or rushed, reacting very differently. I hate to admit it, but I think I could have quite easily gone on the defensive, thinking 'oh god, don't tell me that!' and come out with all the reasons she couldn't go back to school. Instead I listened, and seriously considered what she was saying, and she felt heard. This is one time where I actually feel I can say I got it right :0)

A has requested a project about pregnancy and childbirth, as she feels she doesn't know enough about them, so after a trip to the library and finding very little appropriate material, I bought this and this for us to use. So will be starting that very soon.

We had a lovely little exercise this week, suggested by A - we visited a new vegan deli/coffee shop in our town (so excited about that!!!) and both wrote reviews about the place. They were glowing :0))

Films, drama, singing, piano-playing...

This has been quite a hectic week for us. We saw some films as part of the
national_schools_film_week , the first time we've taken part in this as we were away last year, and the Steiner school A used to go to (unsurprisingly!) never participated. It was very easy to book (online), they had no problem accommodating home educators.
On Monday we saw Kirikou_and_the_Sorceress , a fantastic West African film about a little boy born with the ability to walk and speak. Very different from the usual Disney/Pixar films we're bombarded with.
Tuesday Granny took A to see The_Secret_of_Moonacre , which they both seemed to enjoy.
Yesterday we saw The_Spiderwick_Chronicles , which I found a bit scary, although A didn't. Quite fun though.
Kirikou was definitley my favourite, A says Spiderwick was hers.
A also watched The_Cat_Returns , at home. I only saw tiny bits of as I was too busy to sit and watch it, but it looked really good, and A really liked it. We've seen a few of these Japanese animation films now, and love them.

A is having a great time at her new drama class, and they are preparing for their Christmas show next month. Its so good to see her enjoying drama again, she's been in various drama groups since she was about six and always loved them, but there was a bit of a gap where we couldn't find a suitable one, until a local class started up this August. One of her best friends goes as well, and they usually get together after class for a while, so thats a good arrangement for all.

A has also joined a choir, which I'm delighted about because I've been encouraging her to do this for ages (she has a great voice). Its at her old school, so she knows most of the people already, and is a mixture of adults and children which I think is really good. I drop her there and wait in the car - there's no way you'll get me singing (it would be very unpleasant for all invovled) - which is ok as I get to catch up on some reading for an hour or so.

And... I have managed to find a great piano teacher who lives just round the corner from us! I've been trying to find someone to give A piano lessons for months - asking around a lot etc - so its fabulous to have found someone so near. (I'm having to borrow the car every week for choir now as that is ten miles away and we have to get straight back for drama the same night, so I really didn't want to have to borrow it another night for another class.) The piano teacher seems very direct and clear in his approach, but in a gentle way. He doesn't 'talk down' to A, but treats her as the intelligent person she is, and already seems well aware of her tendency to panic when she gets things wrong, reassuring her that she's doing really well. She's only had two lessons so far, but I'm really pleased with how its going, and more importantly so is she!

Workwise, things are going well so far, although I still have panicky moments where it all feels out of control. I'm struggling with time management, but I knew I would, and I also know I'll get there and become more organised as things progress - I'll have to!
Trying to sort out the official stuff like Housing Benefit has been a bit frustrating (again - I knew it would be!) They like all the information to fit the boxes they have to tick, and want definite figures for earnings etc, which is all a bit impossible if you are just starting out as a freelancer! So I'm doing my best to give them as much as I can, hopefully it will all get sorted soon, as its highly unlikely I'll make enough to pay all my rent at this stage. That is the ultimate aim of course, but it will take a while to build things up.

Today was the first day this week we could just be at home, so we had some maths and English this morning - we've been working on place value for maths and A has struggled with this. I think its getting a bit boring for her going over it again and again, I've tried to find different ways of explaining it to make it clearer, but then I worry I'm making it even more confusing by explaining it differently! But I've found some games in this book which a friend gave me a while back that might help. For English A chose to use A Ladybird 'Grammar and Puctuation' workbook that Granny gave us (strangely I cant find a link to it!?). As workbooks go it wasn't bad, and A seemed to focus very well with it. In between all this 'sitting down learning' stuff has been much drumming and other percussion type noises going on in the kitchen, which is always good :0)

Back to work

I'm enjoying getting back into a kind of rhythm after our summer 'break'. A and I had a discussion about how we are going to approach our second year of HE. We talked about things being a little more purposeful this year. For our first year we were kind of finding our way a bit, thats how it feels looking back. Nothing wrong with that, but I think we've both grown to know how things do and don't work for us.


A asked me to put up a chart of all her projects so she can keep track of how much she's doing:



So our basic routine is: some maths and English in the morning (this can take many forms - I'll expand later); then A chooses what she wants to focus on in the afternoon.
This is a very loose, flexible routine - sometimes we'll go out for the day and there's no 'routine'. Sometimes A becomes so engrossed in a project that she spends the whole day on it. Its all good.
But somehow it helps us both to have some kind of framework grounding us, even if we do ignore it at times.
And the routine only works for the days we're based at home together - one or two days a week I have to work, so A spends time with her Granny, where she has some workbooks she sometimes uses, but the two of them also go off on all kinds of adventures. Granny is involved in Adult Literacy classes, so some of the resources she uses for that are quite good for A.




For English we do all kinds of reading and writing - A is much more interested in reading since she did the summer reading challenge at the library, and is often happy to sit and read for a while. Sometimes she'll ask me to give her some titles for stories to write. Other times I'll ask her to write a review or summary of something. I read to A regularly too, something we both still enjoy, and which often sparks off interesting discussions.




I'm feeling very inspired about maths (even if A isn't!). We had a great session on 'angles' today, which seemed to go really well. I'm very excited about Khan_Academy , which I'd put on my favoutires links some time ago but never looked at properly until recently. These little YouTube tutorials look perfect for A - visual, short, clearly explained - I anticipate using these quite a lot. I also had another look at NRICH , which looks promising too.
I'm using a mix and match approach to maths, picking a theme then gathering lots of info from lots of different resouces, and using what I think will appeal to A most. A still has a very negative attitude to maths, so I'm being very gentle and encouraging with it. I'm doing my best to make it enjoyable and relevant. I've told A there are only 2 rules for our maths sessions - 1. she can take as long as she needs to think about/work out things (she reacts very badly when pressured or rushed on maths questions, and completely loses confidence in her ability), and 2. its ok to get things wrong, as thats a crucial part of the learning process.
I keep hoping that my enjoyment of maths (yes, I am that nerdy) will be infectious, but it doesn't seem to be.

Stress Tests

I don't know if anyone else has come across these, maybe they are a normal part of the curriculum in mainstream English schools? But I've just heard that a 9-year-old relative had one at his school in the South of England.
Basically, all the children in his class had to go (on their own) to the head teacher's office and verbally answer some mental arithmetic questions, they were given three seconds to answer each question. They got to chose when they wanted to do it, but they all had to do it.

Now, maybe its just me, but that sounds horrendous. I'm quite good at maths, but I'm sure I would do extremely badly under those conditions. My relative did really well, and his parents are proud of him, and its great for him that he's had a boost to his self esteem, but he's always been very good at mental arithmetic, its one of his strengths. When I think of my arty, creative, dreamy daughter having to go through that I just know that she would not only do very badly in terms of getting lots of questions wrong, but also become really anxious and very worried about the whole thing. There must be loads of kids whose brains just aren't wired to do well in situations like that, how many will come away thinking "I must be rubbish at maths" ?

Surely the most important thing with maths is to understand how to work things out, and the best way to do that is to apply it to real life. I can see that certain specific occupations might require people to have skills in quickfire calculations, but how is that relevant to a class of 9 and 10 year olds? If ever I heard of a good way to put more kids off maths - this is it!

Games

This game has gone down very well with A - one of a couple I bought from Lucy's clearout. The other game apparently looks too 'mathsy' for A (I think it looks fun, but maybe I'm just weird?) but I'm sure I'll convert her, just give me time...

We went on our last Wildlife Counts workshop on Saturday - freshwater - and had fun dipping in the river! The ranger leading these is great - very down-to-earth, but so enthusiastic about the subjects, and so knowledgable. A really enjoyed them, despite the fact that they were aimed at adults and there were no other kids on any of them (even the Saturday one, which I thought was strange). There are to be some more in-depth ones later in the year, and we are thinking we might go to the fungi one and the bat one.

We realised the other day that its almost a year since we started HEing - another excuse for a cake!! When we started we said we would try it for a year and see how it went, needless to say, we both want to carry on :0)
I asked A - hypothetically, if I had the money to afford the fees would she go back to her old school? She said no - she'd rather carry on with HE. This made me feel really good, as she hadn't wanted to leave her school a year ago, it was mainly money-issues that made me take her out. So it was definitely the right decision!!

More squares

As you can see, I've been busy with more of my squares for the crafty_blog crochet challenge. Trying a few different styles now, but they never come out as neat as the pictures in the book!


A has been back on the BBC_Bitesize site, quite enjoying the maths and science, but got very frustrated and annoyed with the English games. She found it all very rigid/limiting, and I could totally see why, for example - with 'writing a story' she had to fill in the gaps with a choice of several different words/phrases to make up either a scary, romantic or spy story. However, if she didn't put in the 'correct' word or phrase a page came up telling her she had got it wrong. This is what upset A, as she thought her choices were valid, but its difficult to argue your point with a computer!
She then tried the 'Argument' section, and was dismayed to find that you just had to pick out a prewritten point of view and couldn't actually write your own. I tried to explain that its probably difficult to allow any real expression of opinions within these simple computer games, and we came to the conclusion that they are probably not the best way of working on English for A.

It was good to see her working on the 'problem solving' activity for maths, as it was all about shopping: working out what everything costs and giving the correct money. A has always been pretty good at maths in the 'real world', its just the idea of maths as a subject that gets her worried, so I pointed out how quickly she managed to work it out and therefore how good she is at 'maths', which she seemed to acknowledge.

A has also been learning some sign language with Granny, and helped her with this theme at the Quaker's childrens group.

Another idea A has been talking about a lot is designing and making clothes. She has done some of this before, and definately has her own quirky sense of style, so I'm thinking of pushing the practical side of this a bit more - finding some projects she can work on where she has to follow a pattern, borrowing Granny's sewing machine - just to help her develop her skills.

Went to the theatre on Friday night, we took my Mum (as her birthday present) to see the Reduced Shakespeare Company's THE_BIBLE:_THE_COMPLETE_WORD_OF_GOD_(abridged) which had us all crying with laughter. Bit of a scary moment when they started dragging people up on stage for some very humiliating participation (I was sitting on the end of a row very near the front) but they left me alone. I hate that - I think I would just refuse to move out of my seat, although then you risk even more piss-taking.
Unfortunately after a lovely evening out we came home to some sad news - an old friend and neighbour from London, who was a regular visitor up here, had died. He was quite elderly, well into his 80s, and it seems to have been quite a peaceful passing, so I guess it was just his time to go. Still sad though.

I've been giving myself a bit of a hard time recently, and had a mini meltdown on Sunday, when I misread something and got myself in a right old state. Its interesting how quickly I can go back to that 'beating myself up' mindset. I have a long history of depression, although have been pretty stable for the last five years (thanks largely - I believe - to cognitive behaviour therapy), but I spent many years believing that I was the most terrible person in the world. It seems that small things can sometimes feed back into that, and drag me down. The difference now is I manage to bring myself back from it quite quickly, and sometimes can even laugh at the ridiculousness of it. In the past it would have just set me off in a downward spiral that could last weeks or months.
I think I am very lucky to be where I am now, I'm sure I will always have those depressive tendencies but I feel strong enough to manage them now. How ever much of a hard time I give myself, life is good.