She's baaaaack!!

She's been back for over a week actually, I just haven't got round to blogging.

We had a nice relaxed easter weekend. Staying on track with my new healthy living attitude I did not consume the usual amount of chocolate, I just had one Moo Free egg, and some Montezuma's mini eggs. A did alright for chocolate, but she didn't get an egg from me. I got her a laptop for Easter. Just slightly extravagent, and I'm still not sure that particular moment of online purchasing madness was a good idea, but needless to say she is delighted.
I have to confess a (big) element of self interest here though. I bought MY laptop ostensibly for work purposes, but since our old desktop has become increasingly less reliable, and since A seems to want to spend every waking moment on facebook (another dubious decision - letting her loose on facebook), I was being constantly hassled for use of the laptop.

I have signed A up for a new essay-writing course, which looks interesting. I think its pitched at just the right level for her, so we're both looking forward to seeing how that works out. We've not got back into maths since our easter break, in fact we've not done much of anything 'formal' - the weather has been far too good (you have to make the most of it when it happens up here!) but there have been lots of activities and trips. Today, after skating, she went off to the Spey Bay Wildlife Centre with friends and has just phoned to tell me they saw some dolphins.

I'm feeling very energised and really enjoying my gym visits (going about 3 times a week) and walks in the sunshine. It doesn't seem to have made much of an impact on my mental state though. In the early hours of this morning, for some reason, I became convinced someone was breaking into my house. I stood at the top of the stairs and was sure I could smell cigarettes (I don't smoke), so I took to wandering around the house with a hammer in my hand. Not sure how much use a hammer would be against an axe murderer, but I suppose its better than nothing.
I should point out that pacing the house like a guard dog in the middle of the night is not something I do on a regular basis. However, 12-3am does seem to be my alloted anxiety time, when all my worries and fears come out to play, and repeatedly punch me in the face. This is a pattern that has emerged over the last few years. I've tried different tactics to deal with it: reading; breathing techniques; visualisation; relaxation CDs - but nothing seems to work. It seems as though the anxieties are there, and have a need to express themselves.

A has decided she wants to watch 'the wedding' tomorrow, I'm not happy, I've been trying very hard to block it all out. She argues that it will be educational. Really?? I wont stop her watching it, but I think a session on the French Revolution is required soon.

Positivity

Anyone who follows this blog will know that I have regular maths-related anxiety attacks. Don't know why its maths in particular that gets me this way, might be partly to do with A's own feelings about the subject, but anyway, I have been known to lie awake at night worrying myself half to death about whether I am failing my daughter, and will she turn around in ten years time and say "I never learnt my times tables properly because you didn't make me, and because of that my life is now ruined". Not sure why her life would be ruined by this, but my catastrophising generally doesn't need reason.

I decided to do a general review last week, just for myself really, and go through all the 'work' A has been doing this year (by work I mean any interests/activities, not just written stuff). Looking at it as objectively as possible I don't have any concerns - I think she's got a great, and full 'curriculum', which covers a broad range of 'subjects' (I know I'm putting all this in schoolish terminology, which doesn't really apply to the way we do things, but I suppose I do use what she would be doing at school as some kind of comparison when I'm assessing things). She's a bright girl, with clear strengths and weaknesses, but no particular problems with what she's learning (Oh God, this is starting to sound like a school report!)

But I knew all that anyway. What I was really pleased about - from an assessing point of view rather than being involved in the learning process - was how she's progressing with maths. Looking at what she's covered, through the online site we're using and the other material relevant to each theme that I've brought in, made me feel really positive about it all. Sometimes I just need to step back a bit and be a bit more objective, instead of getting all caught up in the parental fear/anxiety/guilt about what she should be doing, because actually she's doing fine. In fact, she's doing brilliantly, and she's happy.

Took a visiting friend to Cawdor yesterday, just for a walk around the gardens and the woods, here are some pictures:

In character

The walled garden

Sculpture made from flint

Bee on a thistle

View from a bridge

Had a lovely girly night last night - make-overs and chocolate facepacks; home made pizza; DVDs; painted toenails - a very late night and a lie-in this morning. Perfect.

OH NO!!

Received this in my viva parcel yesterday:


I can see that my new year weight-loss plan (for when I've finished all the chocolate I've ordered in for Christmas!) is just not going to happen!!!

Happy Day

No book-learnin going on here today - had a wonderful long walk in the sunshine, then a huge clearout of our bedrooms, including some furniture shifting. Feels like we have new rooms.
I've done some online Christmas shopping this evening, and have ordered in far too much chocolate (vegan_store is a very dangerous site!)*. Also some books and stocking fillers.
*just had an email informing me that the postal charge for our area is £11.99 instead of £4.95 for the rest of the UK - extortionate! How can they justify that? Wont be ordering from them again!!

Here are a few pics from our day:

Lovely books!

My books arrived! For my birthday my Mum gave me her card and told me to order a few books I was after from Amazon (sadly she did give me a limit). So, being a new (and extremely enthusiastic) convert to knitting I got Stitch_'n_bitch_nation, The_Knitter's_Bible, Anticraft, and Domiknitrix. I bought Happy_Hooker with a voucher my brother and his partner gave me, to aid me in my struggles with learning to crochet. That lot should keep me busy for a while :-)

We had a fantastic day yesterday, decided to have a day out in Inverness as we both had vouchers and birthday money burning a hole in our pockets. First we met up with Granny for lunch, she was through for a tutorial for her Scottish history course at the college. Then me and A spent a good couple of hours at Inverness_Museum_&_Art_Gallery, very enjoyable. For me it is the perfect size - we managed to get around everything, but by then were ready to go.
We then went off and got some shopping, we both got a nice top for ourselves. I managed to find yet another book: Italian_in_10_minutes_a_day, so we will be getting stuck into that from next week. And A bought another fashion sticker book (she's very keen on these).

Tonight we are having a girlie night in together, which will involve: chocolate; coke (for A); cider (for me); a DVD; more chocolate; pyjamas; blankets; cuddles; a bit more chocolate; lots of laughter :-))

Winchester

I really like Winchester.
This was only my second visit there, but my first to the Cathedral. I took loads of photos but most of them were rubbish - my camera seems to take mood swings. Here are a few that aren't too bad.

You can just about make out the green man carved on the end of the pew here.

We managed to find a Montezumas shop in the town, and I did get slightly carried away, ended up spending way too much on their lovely dark chocolate, mmm....