She's baaaaack!!

She's been back for over a week actually, I just haven't got round to blogging.

We had a nice relaxed easter weekend. Staying on track with my new healthy living attitude I did not consume the usual amount of chocolate, I just had one Moo Free egg, and some Montezuma's mini eggs. A did alright for chocolate, but she didn't get an egg from me. I got her a laptop for Easter. Just slightly extravagent, and I'm still not sure that particular moment of online purchasing madness was a good idea, but needless to say she is delighted.
I have to confess a (big) element of self interest here though. I bought MY laptop ostensibly for work purposes, but since our old desktop has become increasingly less reliable, and since A seems to want to spend every waking moment on facebook (another dubious decision - letting her loose on facebook), I was being constantly hassled for use of the laptop.

I have signed A up for a new essay-writing course, which looks interesting. I think its pitched at just the right level for her, so we're both looking forward to seeing how that works out. We've not got back into maths since our easter break, in fact we've not done much of anything 'formal' - the weather has been far too good (you have to make the most of it when it happens up here!) but there have been lots of activities and trips. Today, after skating, she went off to the Spey Bay Wildlife Centre with friends and has just phoned to tell me they saw some dolphins.

I'm feeling very energised and really enjoying my gym visits (going about 3 times a week) and walks in the sunshine. It doesn't seem to have made much of an impact on my mental state though. In the early hours of this morning, for some reason, I became convinced someone was breaking into my house. I stood at the top of the stairs and was sure I could smell cigarettes (I don't smoke), so I took to wandering around the house with a hammer in my hand. Not sure how much use a hammer would be against an axe murderer, but I suppose its better than nothing.
I should point out that pacing the house like a guard dog in the middle of the night is not something I do on a regular basis. However, 12-3am does seem to be my alloted anxiety time, when all my worries and fears come out to play, and repeatedly punch me in the face. This is a pattern that has emerged over the last few years. I've tried different tactics to deal with it: reading; breathing techniques; visualisation; relaxation CDs - but nothing seems to work. It seems as though the anxieties are there, and have a need to express themselves.

A has decided she wants to watch 'the wedding' tomorrow, I'm not happy, I've been trying very hard to block it all out. She argues that it will be educational. Really?? I wont stop her watching it, but I think a session on the French Revolution is required soon.